Come to find out, there's still a me that thinks "If people knew . . . "
The road I took wasn't without serious muddy pits along the way. And, funnily enough, not all of them are ones I would wish away. Some of those mud baths left me far more beautiful. And some of them still suck at my ankles and make me feel like I am less than the person I portray.
And that makes it hard to tell my story. And holds me back. Because I'm not ready yet to say that every step that helped me get here was good. Some of it feels too ugly for that. Even when I love deeply the people who were there with me. Even when I love the beauty it brought into my life.
I am not that person now, and it's hard for me to wrap my arms around the woman who did the very best she could at the time and tell her that it was enough and she's enough.
I have to do that though. I have to be proud of all of me. I have to love myself like I would love anyone else.
The road I took wasn't without serious muddy pits along the way. And, funnily enough, not all of them are ones I would wish away. Some of those mud baths left me far more beautiful. And some of them still suck at my ankles and make me feel like I am less than the person I portray.
And that makes it hard to tell my story. And holds me back. Because I'm not ready yet to say that every step that helped me get here was good. Some of it feels too ugly for that. Even when I love deeply the people who were there with me. Even when I love the beauty it brought into my life.
I am not that person now, and it's hard for me to wrap my arms around the woman who did the very best she could at the time and tell her that it was enough and she's enough.
I have to do that though. I have to be proud of all of me. I have to love myself like I would love anyone else.
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